The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
