Please, let me fuck your mom
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
