how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
