At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just found puke in my bra..
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
