I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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