HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Boobs speak an international language.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
