I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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