I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
