Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
