In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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