I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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