The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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