my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
