OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
