You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
