i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
