the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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