dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
