Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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