I want to have your abortion
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
