one might say we're banned from that church
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
