i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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