So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
