Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
