Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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