i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
