hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
