I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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