We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
