She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
