Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
