Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
