I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
