quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
