no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
