I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It's Friday. Sex?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
