remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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