You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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