I just saw a hot homeless man
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
