He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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