So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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