Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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