I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
