what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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