Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We had sex on a dog bed..
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
