normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
