I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
