I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
