Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Don't make out with my wife yet
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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