is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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