I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
